Is it time to give up?
When do you decide you’ve had enough trying to solve a problem and just give up? And how do you know you’ve made the right choice if you do give up?
I teach my children to never give up. “Mom, I suck at spelling.” I reply to practice to not give up and the more you practice the better you get. “How am I supposed to pass this test if I hate history?” And my answer is to look at it with a different frame of mind. If you’re open-minded and want to learn, the facts stick better, so don’t give up.
So, how do we, as parents, exercise the same motto when it’s our problems?
Sometimes the answer is that it is time to give up and move on. One example would be my oldest son, who, after I’ve raised him with morals and plenty of love has become the epitome of the Prodigal Son. It tore me up when he turned eighteen (still with a year of school to complete) and moved out without so much as an “I love you, Mom, thanks for everything” or even an explanation of why. He left with an arrogant attitude that reeked of kiss my ass and thanks for nothing.
I finally realized I’d done all I could do as a mother and had done the very best at raising him that any good mother could, so I had to let him go, let him learn the hard way. I still struggle with his selfish ways and the self-centered things he does, and, as a result, the pain he causes his family and grandparents. But because we tried to raise him right, he feels we were mean to him. I walked away and I knew it was the right decision. I knew that “I give up” was the right thing to do. He had to learn about life and what’s right and wrong on his own, and in doing so, I pray he see’s “the light” and realizes the truth of things.
But there are personal issues in life that crop up from time to time that don’t seem to have a clear answer. We all have dreams that we chase. One person struggles with the decision of whether or not to go to school to practice law because he’s forty-eight and feels it’s pointless at that age. Does he go ahead and do it or just give up the dream?
Another person wants to be a pop singer and tries out for every contest nationwide, cuts sample records, and does everything within her power to get that lucky break. By the time she turns thirty-five or forty she looks back and faces a big decision: does she give up and work for the local insurance company to provide better for her two kids, or does she continue waiting tables as she chases her dream?
The answers to some problems are often cut and dried, but what about those dilemmas that are attached to our lifelong dreams? How do we know whether to continue pursuing it or if we should set the dream aside and say enough is enough?
On a side note, I’m still working on SDW’s blog site, so take a moment to click the tabs at the top of the page and visit the excerpt pages and more.